I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
