dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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