Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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