Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
