so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
