I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i think i have two assholes
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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