If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
