S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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