Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
