I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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