people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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