the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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