Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
