sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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