I think my vagina is haunted
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
