if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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