I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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