Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Randomize
