I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize