This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
