Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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