just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
