Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You have to summon your inner elephant
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize