Whats the glycemic index on semen?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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