I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
