Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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