the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
