I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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