is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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