thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
