I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
