his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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