Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize