I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
