You're my little dorito
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
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