He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
