Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Every concussion has its silver lining
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
