best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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