I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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