I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
So squirting runs in the family.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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