At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Are we still banned from the library?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize