I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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