I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
