I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My vagina is very pro this idea
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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