"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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