You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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