No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
