You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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