dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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