I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
