i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
