If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
