absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
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