Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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