is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I still have a little drunk in my system
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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