3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
