Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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