good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
