do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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