You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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