I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
