i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
