dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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