Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
soo... how was my night?
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