I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Don't make out with my wife yet
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
