I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
