So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
