Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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