her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
